The Pumpkinification of Volker

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  • Quirk

    #1

    The Pumpkinification of Volker

    Disclaimer: Unless you are Volker, or intersted in witnessing a game
    of Dozens, there is no need for you to read this thread. Nothin' 'but
    trash talk from here on in. I'm fed up with this ass. Reasonable
    discusion on the subject continues in the old thread.

    "Volker Hetzer" <volker.hetzer@ ieee.org> wrote in message news:<c8lk9o$9t j$1@nntp.fujits u-siemens.com>...
    [color=blue]
    > You implied that I didn't run the contract by our law department.[/color]

    Volker, while it is very honerable of your employers give you a job,
    participating in government projects to aid the mentaly handicapped is
    commendable indeed, there is no way they would let you make contract
    choices, so you have no need to run them by the law department. Your
    job is confined to screwing up obscure code and posting drivel to
    usenet, as your nurse explained, please review your employment
    agreement.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > Did you imagine, that although I was not responding to
    > > you, somehow It was you I was talking about? As usual, you make no
    > > sence.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > You did talk to me. Read up your article[/color]

    Umm, what that sentenece means is that my original suggestions where
    not directed at you, nor your employers, specificaly, rather they
    where general advice.

    Of couse I did talk to you, however only in response to your nonsence,
    I haven't yet initatied any discusion with you, although I may still,
    since you are such an interesting study in cluelessness, mostly
    because of your verbosity and desperation to find reasons to talk
    about yourself and the unskilled labour you perform.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > 'Try it sometime' -- Another attempt to portray yourself as having
    > > greater experience, another fallacy.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > So, what's your experience?[/color]

    As I have said many times, I will let my arguments stand on their own,
    rather then attempting a //fallacious// "appeal to authority" as you
    continuously try.

    However, I will grant you, in some cases, great experience is to be
    deferred to. For example: no would would question your expertise in
    the field of licking urinals clean, as everyone knows you where
    schooled by your mother, the world's leading authority.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > No, closed source licence agreements are so devised.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > If I buy oracle (or purify) or whatever, I buy a fixed price for the
    > product *once* and the maintenance annually. There is no
    > sucking dry part.[/color]

    The term 'sucking dry' may confuse you, since it reminds of the
    fantasies you have about feeding Ruffies to Larry Ellison at Oracle
    World and sucking him dry, so perhaps you should ask a smarter
    colleage what is meant by the economist's concept of "prices rise to
    what the market will bear" and then have a little talk about price
    ceilings in a protectionistic/monopolistic environment and David
    Ricardo's concept of "Economic rent" and you might understand the
    technical model for 'sucking dry'. Which, unfortunatly, will likely
    get you fantasising about Larry again, rather than thinking about
    price theory, but what the heck, give it a try.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > You pay for labour, yes, why would this not be obvious?[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > I'm trying to make it obvious to you that I can pay for the labour perfectly
    > fine without having the right to the source code. It's what those
    > perfectly fine maintenance contracts are for.[/color]

    Yes, just like under the dictorship of the proletariat, you have the
    right to vote, as long as you vote for The Party. What happened to
    your communist scholarship? Oh, right, I remember, your references to
    Mao where out of context too.

    Do you get together with your bretheren and sing Oracle partisan
    songs, declaring the greatness of your fearless leader?
    [color=blue]
    > Ok, somehow you seem to think 4 (ok, at most 5) weeks migration[/color]

    Interesting, 4 (or maybe 5) weeks pulled directly out of your ass. Is
    this some sort on universal law? The law of the 4 (or 5) week
    migration? Perhaps we should call this the Volker Principle. Of course
    competent project managers would laugh themselves silly. The joke is
    probably lost on you though.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > It also means you never have to stop using the product simply because
    > > the vendor wants to sell you a new one if the product continues to
    > > meet your needs, since with source, you can recompile for for a new
    > > cpu, a new os, or when new security updates are available for the
    > > libraries it depends on.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > And where are the security updates for the obsolete database?[/color]

    _library_ updates dumbass, for instance your ssl library.
    [color=blue]
    > Where are the customers that want to buy a piece of legacy code?[/color]

    Please figure out the difference between _stop_using_ and
    _start_using_ and read the quoted statement again.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > You still have the source code.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Yes, I can print it out and kill some trees with it.[/color]

    To each his own, normaly one would compile it. But then normaly a
    keyboard is for typing, for you it's mostly for drooling on.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > Yet the vendor gaurantees nothing.[/color]
    > He guarantees to put labour to my service requests.[/color]

    As long as it is profitable for them.
    [color=blue]
    > Btw, what does mysql guarantee if you take out a service contract
    > with them?[/color]

    They guarantee that they can never hold you hostage to their services,
    because you have the source code.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > The database vendor obviously
    > > balances maintenance costs and development costs, trying to minimize both.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > The vendor only tries to maximize profits.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Yes, and where is the contradiction?[/color]

    Closed source is a barrier to price elasticity, cost push analysis
    therefore no longer aplies, rather Ricardo's "Economic Rent" is the
    correct analytical tool, meaning that, in the long run, they will
    extract from you no less than the total cost of migration away from
    Oracle to a new platform**. A dumbass like you may know nothing about
    economics, but I assure you: Oracle executives do.

    (** Aside: In this way it may be said that free software is a benifit
    even to idiots like Volker, since it lowers the theoretical economic
    rent, however ignorance of this option among his kind allows Oracle
    and co to mostly ignore this for now)
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > You do not need to, just like if you design a curcuit with a
    > > proprietary conector or a standard one, the former is expensive and
    > > only comes from one comany, the later is cheap and comes from many.
    > > Unless you really need the former, you would always chose the later.
    > > In neither case are you required to manufacture connectors.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Just checking... All the databases we are talking support sql, or at least
    > a reasonable subset of it right? So, by using sql I'm only tying those
    > parts to the particular db that are special and which I use, right?[/color]

    Using standard SQL is not a bad start, when possible.

    However, issolating your access ruotines to as few places in your code
    as possible (wrapper functions) instead of littering proprietry
    bindings throughout your code can be a damn good idea too.
    [color=blue]
    > So, the only "own investment" is tied to those features because I need them,
    > right?[/color]

    No, not just because you 'need' them, but because you 'benifit' from
    them, with your data access code abstracted, you can also introduce
    other features when desired, because your access code is //isolated//,
    and have your entire application benifit.
    [color=blue]
    > This might sound unusual for you, but if you use a great library, and
    > suddenly it has a bug and there's no maintenance, the app is bust.[/color]

    With a closed source library yes, with an open source one, you have
    options.
    [color=blue]
    > Now, what are the cases
    > here:
    > - I'm poor. So, neither could I pay for the fix, nor for the company. My
    > product depends on someone richer to pick up the pieces. (the code
    > or the rights to the code)[/color]

    Then you are most likely using a popular product, and can download the
    patched source for free, since somebody else may likely have the same
    problem.
    [color=blue]
    > - I'm rich. So, either could I agree to pay more maintenance and keep
    > the vendor alive, or pay a few percent less (by cutting out the management
    > level of the vendor) and hire the developers to go on.[/color]

    The later, only if you have the source.
    [color=blue]
    > - I'm a programming genius. then why did I use a library in the first case?[/color]

    Because it was usefull? Why would a programming genius not use a
    usefull library to wich he has source? Do you imagine programming
    genius insist on reinventing every wheel just because they can? Such a
    developer may be clever, but certainly no genius.
    [color=blue][color=green][color=darkred]
    > > > Well, looks like the only credible supporter of mysql is mysql ab.[/color]
    > >
    > > There are as many as the market will bear, since there is no
    > > artificial thing, like closed source, keeping competition away.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Closed source is nothing artificial either, it's the only way to
    > go before you have payed the original developers.[/color]

    Closed source is a barrier to competition, therefore market forces are
    disturbed. I don't know what the second clause in your statement
    means, and I suspect, neither do you.
    [color=blue][color=green][color=darkred]
    > > > And right now it works because they all more or less follow redhat.[/color]
    > >
    > > What? Who follows Red Hat?[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > The Linux distributors.[/color]

    Really? You mean like Debian, GenToo, Arch-Linux and Slackware? In
    what what do these Follow Red Hat? And other than using RPM, in what
    way dows SuSE 'follow Red Hat?' Or Conectiva, or Mandrake, or Lindows?
    What the hell are you talking about? You are talking out of your ass
    as usual.
    [color=blue]
    > As an example of a big open source project.
    > And that postgres windows company does the same, right (following
    > the main postgres company)?[/color]

    There is no *MAIN* posgres company, as I said, PostgreSQL Inc, is not
    to be confused with PostgreSQL Org, it is but one, of many,
    contributers to the project.
    [color=blue]
    > Btw, spelled out: I *CAN'T* hire "many companies, large and small"
    > to support my open source product. For most, none exist, for some,
    > one exists, tying me down, for very few, some companies support
    > ports, some simply cash in.[/color]

    Just because you are an ignorant ass does not mean that none exist,
    many exist, why would they not exist? if the open source software in
    question is popular, like Postgres and MySQL, then please explain what
    market forces you imagine will pervent firms from tapping this market?
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > posting, and as still unrefuted in anyway by you copious blather.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Oh, I did refute it, you just ignored it. And asked me to help you forget
    > by quoting shorter, right?[/color]

    Not only are you too ignorant to know that trimming your posts is
    simply good usenet style, but apparently, you think that responding is
    the same as refuting. In order to 'refute' an argument, you actualy
    need to make a logical argument, not merely a fallacious claim.

    Here is mine, as syllogisms:

    If changing an application is needed, and if changing an application
    requires source, then source is needed.

    If a production system is dependent on a change in source, and if a
    third party has sole possessionion the source, then the production
    system is dependent on the third party.

    If a production system is dependent on a change in source, and if the
    source is available to many parties, then the production system is not
    dependent on any one party.

    Please educate yourself on the rules of logic before responding with
    more fallacious bunk.
    [color=blue][color=green][color=darkred]
    > > > And it definitely doesn't make my boss keep a bunch of abandoned code
    > > > that we are the sole users of.[/color]
    > >
    > > First, if the system is widely used the code would not be abandoned,[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Ditto for a commercial product.[/color]

    No, the commercial product is not subject to normal market forces
    because of the closed source.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > second, a closed source product is not less likely to be abandoned
    > > that an open source one,[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > It is. Because someone invested real money in it.[/color]

    All products and services are invested in, productive capacity, like
    machines and factories and software, are products of //investment//.

    Without investment, there is no software of anykind, closed or open
    source.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > third if it is abandoned then you are in
    > > better shape if you do have the code.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Sigh... We've been through this. In what way am I in better shape then?[/color]

    You have source, your application can be supported.
    [color=blue]
    > It doesn't make sense to wait for your mysterious entrepeneurs (who, in
    > any case could also bid for the property of the bust company)[/color]

    There is nothing mysterious about these entrepeneurs, and there is a
    big difference in regards to the entrepeneurs competeing in ONE MARKET
    ENCOUNTER for the rights to the property of the bust company, as
    aposed to competing with each other AT EVERY MARKET ENCOUNTER for all
    opportinuties to provide their services to the user community of the
    product.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > secondly, without
    > > source, how you will compile it for your new CPU, or new OS, or to
    > > link a security-updated library?[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Even with the source, if I were to compile mysql to, let's pick
    > a platform at random, my new cellphone, I'd have to do a bit
    > more than ./configure&&make install, right?[/color]

    Good luck runnig Oracle on your cellphone dumbass, when I decide to
    replace one of my production database servers with a cellphone, I'll
    get back to you.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > Funny, that's exactly what I said, many times in this thread.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Where? (I mean, before I pushed your nose in it?)[/color]

    Everywhere, I have never stated that my suggestions do not have
    exceptions, not once, and always included qualifiers such as
    'Ideally', 'When Possible', etc..

    As for 'pushing my nose in it', obviously you are so stupid that you
    have mistaken your idiotic pretensions for reality, You have not, nor
    are you capable of, rubbing anyone's nose in anything. However your
    nose has been rubbed in your ridiculous shit so many times that you're
    starting to look like Thomas D. Rice getting ready for a show.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > The 'case for code rights' does not disapear,[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > So, what are code rights good for if not for not having to change
    > the database?[/color]

    For recompiling the database, obviously, there are numerous reasons
    you may want to do this.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > but by abstarction,
    > > becomes less important, since abstarction is another layer of
    > > protection.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > So my code gets clumsy and slow for no reason at all.[/color]

    If you are a bad coder, your code gets clumsy, issolating your code
    can also make your overall aplication less clumsy, and even at times
    perform better.
    [color=blue][color=green][color=darkred]
    > > > Are you trying to change thread from opensource to abstraction?[/color][/color][/color]
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > I am not trying to change 'the thread' -- I posted my recomendations,[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > See the subject line.[/color]

    The subject line is inherented from the previous poster, who asked a
    question about chosing between database platforms, my suggestions
    where intended to explain that there are other considerations besides
    a direct feature comparison between database that should be
    considered, you responding to my suggestions, therefore our thread is
    about my suggestions. It's amazing I have to explain this to you. But
    in anycase, to make this all a little easier for you, I have now
    changed the subject line. Hope this helps.
    [color=blue][color=green][color=darkred]
    > > > > However if your application is tied to one database, then the very
    > > > > client you are describing is the very client that you will not get if
    > > > > they use a different database from yours.[/color][/color]
    >[color=green][color=darkred]
    > > > We do have such an app here. The result is that it doesn't run well
    > > > on *any* database.[/color]
    > >
    > > As I said, there are bad applications, both abstracted and
    > > unabstracted ones, your argument, is, as usual, a fallacy.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > In what way?[/color]

    Your proposition as a syllogism:

    This particilar application is abstracted, this particular application
    is bad,
    therefore all aplications that are abstracted are bad.

    This syllogism is fallacious: a 'Hasty generalization. '
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > And, if your forced your customer into Larry's arms, they will blame
    > > you, not Larry.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Yes, and if oracle isn't willing to fix it I can give oracle a lot more
    > trouble than mysql because their contracts are more expensive.[/color]

    Please express logicaly the relationship between the expensiveness ot
    the contracts and the amount of trouble you can cause Oracle.

    I'm sure that your sexual obsession with Larry Ellison do cause a lot
    of trouble to the poor support personel who have to deal with your
    heavy breathing.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > (I wonder if you even know what a fallacy is, you use so so many of
    > > them)[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Whatever your secret work experience may be your public english
    > experience isn't good enough to teach me that language.[/color]

    My work experience is hardly a secret, or even hard to find out, it is
    just /irrelevent//, and arguments based on authority are fallacies.
    But out of all your idiotic comments this is my favourite!

    You think that by suggesting that you do not know what a fallacy is I
    am questioning your grasp of _english_ when any one who *does* know
    what a fallacy is would understand that I am questioning your grasp of
    _logic_.

    Your english, Volker, is quite good, only proving that one can be a
    complete moron while speaking perfect english.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > For the millionth time, please try to
    > > follow.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > Cut out this stuff. It makes you sound ridiculous.[/color]

    No, encouraging you to follow makes me sound humane, like a kindly dog
    trainer with an unusualy stupid mutt on his hands, what makes me sound
    ridiculous, is that I bother to continue talking to you at all, my
    only hope is that the others will ignore this thread of ours and it
    can be my guilty secret.
    [color=blue]
    > Abstraction is irrelevant to open source because the big thing is the right
    > to the source code, correct?[/color]

    No, the 'big thing' is my application, both abstarction and open
    source are assets to it. Even closed source can be an asset to it if
    it helps do what I want and my customers need it, abstraction in this
    case is even more preferable.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > Yeah, a 'diversion' I cleverly included in my very first post in this
    > > thread.[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > What's the difference? You didn't start the thread.[/color]

    Yes I did. You responded to my recomendations, thus a new discussion
    was started between you and me, regarding my recomondations, which
    become the topic of the new thread. You place to much value in the
    subject header, however, to make this clear to you, I have changed the
    subject. Please keep your posts relevent to the new topic, your
    Apocolocyntosis .
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > What kind of idiot are you?[/color][/color]
    [color=blue]
    > How old are you?[/color]

    Intersting that you draw a relationship between my age and my ability
    to identify you as an idiot.

    Here are the standard stages:

    One Month of Age

    - Could focus on an object moving in pendular fashion 6 inches
    directly
    above his/her face. Respond to a bell by crying, becoming quiet,
    or other
    reflex.


    Two Months of Age

    - May smile for no apparent reason. Grasp hands together. Squeal
    with
    glee.


    Three Months of Age

    - Could laugh out loud. Squeal in delight. Follow object six
    inches over
    face for 180 degrees back and forth.


    Four Months of Age

    - Should, by end of month, be able to identify Volker as an
    idiot, and
    laugh and point.

    See Volker, as you could have concluded, I am at least four months
    old.

    Regards,
    Dmytri.
  • Joel Garry

    #2
    Re: The Pumpkinificatio n of Volker

    quirk@syntac.ne t (Quirk) wrote in message news:<4e20d3f.0 405240751.75f7e 1cb@posting.goo gle.com>...[color=blue]
    > Disclaimer: Unless you are Volker, or intersted in witnessing a game
    > of Dozens, there is no need for you to read this thread. Nothin' 'but
    > trash talk from here on in. I'm fed up with this ass. Reasonable
    > discusion on the subject continues in the old thread.
    >[/color]

    So why not newgroup in the alt hierarchy? Hardly good enough for
    alt.flame.
    [color=blue][color=green]
    > > Even with the source, if I were to compile mysql to, let's pick
    > > a platform at random, my new cellphone, I'd have to do a bit
    > > more than ./configure&&make install, right?[/color]
    >
    > Good luck runnig Oracle on your cellphone dumbass, when I decide to
    > replace one of my production database servers with a cellphone, I'll
    > get back to you.[/color]

    You seem to be missing that Oracle Application Server comes with the
    built-in ability to use small format browser clients (the "wireless"
    option). See the mobileXML stuff in

    The portal stuff would take years to duplicate in mysql, if it could
    be done at all (internally, it's mostly stored procedures from a
    generator, very O dependent). It includes a number of tools where it
    is built in to easily define how things will look on different display
    sizes for each report or form.

    jg
    --
    @home.com is bogus.
    AAAAIIIYYYEEEE, NOOOOOOO!

    Comment

    • Quirk

      #3
      Re: The Pumpkinificatio n of Volker

      joel-garry@home.com (Joel Garry) wrote in message news:<91884734. 0405251557.64c3 33f4@posting.go ogle.com>...
      [color=blue]
      > So why not newgroup in the alt hierarchy? Hardly good enough for
      > alt.flame.[/color]

      I'll be the judge of that, thanks.

      What's with these pleated pant wearing chimps? Do you want to play
      too?

      You'll have to forgive Joel, usenet is all he has after he lost his
      tongue in a tragic mishap, He's so UGLY, his proctologist stuck his
      finger in his mouth instead of his ass and mistook his tongue for a
      hemorrhoid.
      [color=blue]
      > You seem to be missing that Oracle Application Server comes with the
      > built-in ability to use small format browser clients (the "wireless"
      > option).[/color]

      In your desperation to find a comment to make, you didn't notice he
      was talking about COMPILING the server on his cellphone.

      Go home dumbass.

       

      Comment

      • Joel Garry

        #4
        Re: The Pumpkinificatio n of Volker

        quirk@syntac.ne t (Quirk) wrote in message news:<4e20d3f.0 405260015.296bf 9df@posting.goo gle.com>...[color=blue]
        > joel-garry@home.com (Joel Garry) wrote in message news:<91884734. 0405251557.64c3 33f4@posting.go ogle.com>...
        >[color=green]
        > > So why not newgroup in the alt hierarchy? Hardly good enough for
        > > alt.flame.[/color]
        >
        > I'll be the judge of that, thanks.
        >
        > What's with these pleated pant wearing chimps? Do you want to play
        > too?[/color]

        LOL Bedtime for Quirko!
        [color=blue]
        >
        > You'll have to forgive Joel, usenet is all he has after he lost his
        > tongue in a tragic mishap, He's so UGLY, his proctologist stuck his
        > finger in his mouth instead of his ass and mistook his tongue for a
        > hemorrhoid.[/color]

        She's so ugly, she even has to get her vibrator drunk.

        She's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

        She's so ugly, she has to trick-or-treat over the phone.

        She's so ugly, two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "RAPE!",
        and they yelled "NO!"

        She's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury
        her.

        She's so ugly, the cockroaches say "HI, MOM!"

        She's so ugly, she frightened away both the beauty and the beast.

        She's so ugly, she strips wall paper from walls for a living.

        She's so ugly, she dated Jabba the Hut and HE was the looker.

        She's so ugly, when she was a baby, her parents had a little yellow
        sign in their car window that read, "THING ON BOARD!"

        She's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell - when people see her, they run
        for the border.

        She's so ugly, she scares people even with the lights out.

        She's so ugly, her face looks like a lizard with toothache.

        She's so ugly, her face is registered as a biological weapon.

        She's so ugly, the NHL banned her for life.

        She's so ugly, her boyfriends breath smells like shit because he would
        rather kiss her ass.

        She's so ugly, she'd make a freight train take a dirt road.

        She's so ugly, it looks like her face caught fire and they put it out
        with an ice pick.

        She's so ugly, her mother used to put rubber bands on her ears so
        people would think the girl was wearing a mask.

        She's so ugly, she wasn't just beaten with The Ugly Stick...the whole
        forest whip-lashed her.

        She's so ugly, she's the cover girl for iodine.

        She's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.

        She's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare its hump off.

        She's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit
        by a train.

        She's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom, the toilet flushes.

        She's so ugly, she's a three-bagger: One bag for her head; one for
        yours in case hers fell off, and one by the door in case anyone walks
        in.

        She's so ugly, they threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

        She's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor took her and told her
        mother, "If this doesn't start to cry in ten seconds, it was a tumor!"

        She's so ugly, when she was born the Doctor looked at her ass and her
        face and said: "My God, Siamese twins!"

        She's so ugly, just after her birth, her mother saw the afterbirth and
        said, "Twins!"

        She's so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a
        treasure," and her father said, "Yeah, let's go bury it!"

        She's so ugly, when she was born, GOD admitted that even HE could make
        a mistake!

        She's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

        She's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.

        She's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no
        professionals!"

        She's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

        She's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle,
        they put it around her neck.

        She's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the
        surveillance cameras.

        She's so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone.

        She's so ugly, she scares the roaches away.

        She's so ugly, her face looks like a blind cobbler's thumb.

        She's so ugly, her face is like the south end of a north-bound camel.

        She's so ugly, Dairy Queen won't even treat her right.

        She's so ugly, she's like 7-UP...never had it, never will.

        She's so ugly, she could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck.

        She's so ugly, she had to wear two bags over her head in case one
        breaks.

        She's so ugly, she's only had one successful job - being a scarecrow.

        She's so ugly, she just got a job at the airport - sniffing for drugs.

        She's so ugly, she makes you look good!

        She's so ugly, her psychiatrist makes her lie face down.

        She's so ugly, the tide won't even take her out.

        She's so ugly, when she went to jump in a lake, the lake jumped back!

        She's so ugly, her momma had to feed her with a sling shot.

        She's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.

        She's so ugly, peeping toms break into her house and CLOSE the blinds.

        She's so ugly, she has little round marks all over her body from
        people touching her with 10-foot poles.

        She's so ugly, her face could stop a sun dial.

        She's so ugly, when she went to a beautician it took 12 hours just for
        a quote.

        She's so ugly, she uses the emergency entrance at the beauticians.

        She's so ugly, every time she tries to take a bath the water jumps
        out.

        She's so ugly, even her shadow ran away from her.

        She's so ugly, she called a male hooker and he dialed 911.

        She's so ugly, her mother tried to strangle her with the umbilical
        cord.

        She's so ugly, when she played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering
        her up.

        She's so ugly, she makes onions cry.

        She's so ugly, even Rice Krispies won't talk to her.

        She's so ugly, even the Elephant Man paid to see her.

        She's so ugly, people at the Ugly Palace pay money NOT to see her.

        She's so ugly, she looks like you.

        She's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.

        She's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I
        pinned a tail on it.

        She's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.

        She's so ugly, people at the circus pay money NOT to see her.

        She's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.

        She's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.

        She's so ugly, I throw the ugly stick, and she fetches it every time.

        She's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.

        She's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch biscuits.

        She's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said, "Damn,
        how'd you get out so fast!"

        She's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the
        border.

        She's so ugly, I first met her at the pound.

        She's so ugly, I can have sex with her in any position and it's still
        doggy style.

        She's so ugly, she entered a dog show and won.

        She's so ugly, her doctor is a vet.

        She's so ugly, if ugly were bricks, she'd be a high rise.

        She's so ugly, if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream
        team.

        She's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.

        She's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor didn't know which end to
        slap.

        She's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.

        She's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.

        She's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked everyone.
        [color=blue]
        >[color=green]
        > > You seem to be missing that Oracle Application Server comes with the
        > > built-in ability to use small format browser clients (the "wireless"
        > > option).[/color]
        >
        > In your desperation to find a comment to make, you didn't notice he
        > was talking about COMPILING the server on his cellphone.[/color]

        In your desperation to flame him, you didn't notice that wasn't
        exactly what he said.
        [color=blue]
        >
        > Go home dumbass.
        >
        >  [/color]

        Is this yours? http://www.joebrower.com/PHILE_PILE/...iler_trash.jpg

        Comment

        • Quirk

          #5
          Re: The Pumpkinificatio n of Volker

          What the hell is this Drivel? I can't believe this asswipe still wants
          to keep this thread alive.

          joel-garry@home.com (Joel Garry) wrote in message news:<91884734. 0405281520.52d6 221f@posting.go ogle.com>...
          [color=blue]
          > LOL Bedtime for Quirko![/color]

          Figures from your stupidity you're a fan of Ronald Regean. It's rather
          sad that after that tongue mishap of yours you were unable to shout
          "where's the rest of me!" you've been waiting your whole life to use
          that line.

          By the way, Jim Nabors want his underwear back, you sick freak!
          [color=blue][color=green]
          > > You'll have to forgive Joel, usenet is all he has after he lost his
          > > tongue in a tragic mishap, He's so UGLY, his proctologist stuck his
          > > finger in his mouth instead of his ass and mistook his tongue for a
          > > hemorrhoid.[/color][/color]
          [color=blue]
          > She's so ugly, she even has to get her vibrator drunk.[/color]

          Good Job Joel, you passed lesson 1: cutting and pasting! One day
          perhaps you can try thinking for yourself like the rest of us.

          But your mom doesn't appreciate you spreading these messages about her
          even more widely than your dad did. Don't you think the poor woman has
          suffered enough?
          [color=blue][color=green][color=darkred]
          > > > You seem to be missing that Oracle Application Server comes with the
          > > > built-in ability to use small format browser clients (the "wireless"
          > > > option).[/color]
          > >
          > > In your desperation to find a comment to make, you didn't notice he
          > > was talking about COMPILING the server on his cellphone.[/color]
          >
          > In your desperation to flame him, you didn't notice that wasn't
          > exactly what he said.[/color]

          Volker said: "if I were to compile mysql to, let's pick
          a platform at random, my new cellphone, I'd have to do a bit
          more than ./configure&&make install, right?"

          Ask the guy drooling on himself beside you what that means.

          Comment

          • Joel Garry

            #6
            Re: The Pumpkinificatio n of Volker

            quirk@syntac.ne t (Quirk) wrote in message news:<4e20d3f.0 406010032.657bf 2ca@posting.goo gle.com>...[color=blue]
            > What the hell is this Drivel? I can't believe this asswipe still wants
            > to keep this thread alive.
            >
            > joel-garry@home.com (Joel Garry) wrote in message news:<91884734. 0405281520.52d6 221f@posting.go ogle.com>...
            >[color=green]
            > > LOL Bedtime for Quirko![/color]
            >
            > Figures from your stupidity you're a fan of Ronald Regean. It's rather
            > sad that after that tongue mishap of yours you were unable to shout
            > "where's the rest of me!" you've been waiting your whole life to use
            > that line.[/color]

            More of a fan of Al Franken, actually.
            [color=blue]
            >
            > By the way, Jim Nabors want his underwear back, you sick freak![/color]

            No, that was Bob Crane.
            [color=blue]
            >[color=green][color=darkred]
            > > > You'll have to forgive Joel, usenet is all he has after he lost his
            > > > tongue in a tragic mishap, He's so UGLY, his proctologist stuck his
            > > > finger in his mouth instead of his ass and mistook his tongue for a
            > > > hemorrhoid.[/color][/color]
            >[color=green]
            > > She's so ugly, she even has to get her vibrator drunk.[/color]
            >
            > Good Job Joel, you passed lesson 1: cutting and pasting! One day
            > perhaps you can try thinking for yourself like the rest of us.[/color]

            Admit it, you read them all. (I didn't, 'cause I cut and pasted. But
            I didn't see my favorite one, which is 'Quirk is black and blue all
            over from being poked with eleven foot poles.' And strangel enough, I
            posted that other 11 foot pole joke before I even saw your silly
            hemorrhoid post. But now it should be 11 foot piles.)
            [color=blue]
            >
            > But your mom doesn't appreciate you spreading these messages about her
            > even more widely than your dad did. Don't you think the poor woman has
            > suffered enough?
            >[color=green][color=darkred]
            > > > > You seem to be missing that Oracle Application Server comes with the
            > > > > built-in ability to use small format browser clients (the "wireless"
            > > > > option).
            > > >
            > > > In your desperation to find a comment to make, you didn't notice he
            > > > was talking about COMPILING the server on his cellphone.[/color]
            > >
            > > In your desperation to flame him, you didn't notice that wasn't
            > > exactly what he said.[/color]
            >
            > Volker said: "if I were to compile mysql to, let's pick
            > a platform at random, my new cellphone, I'd have to do a bit
            > more than ./configure&&make install, right?"[/color]

            Ah, here is where you don't understand. What is lost in the world you
            desire is the ability to have subsets of software and data distributed
            about. Software that scales properly allows both a subset to work on
            small format devices and large sets of binary data on large devices.
            Hate to tell you this, but it would be very difficult to store, say,
            the Ring movies in human readable format. And yet, not much of a
            problem to put it in an oracle database, and with new phones coming
            out, watch them on the phone. And if you want to argue a movie studio
            library is not valuable corporate data that one would want to
            distribute electronically, well, there may be a future for you in
            stonemasonry.

            It's a stretch, but part of the server is on the phone. Not something
            I expect to see out of mysql any time soon as something I can just go
            out and buy.
            [color=blue]
            >
            > Ask the guy drooling on himself beside you what that means.[/color]

            What does that mean?

            jg
            --
            @home.com is bogus.
            "Strange thing about nouns. They are all something. I think it is the
            way of
            nouns." - hjr

            Comment

            • Quirk

              #7
              Re: The Pumpkinificatio n of Volker

              joel-garry@home.com (Joel Garry) wrote in message news:<91884734. 0406011625.5f4b 94dc@posting.go ogle.com>...
              [color=blue]
              > More of a fan of Al Franken, actually.[/color]

              Well, Al will be quite disappointed in you for the Reagen reference,
              shouldn't you be trying to help everyone forget that your country
              elected a bad actor President? I mean what's next, a pop singer in
              congress? A wrestler Governor? Or even, *gasp*, A bodybuilder?

              You may think that your inane comments in this thread are just that,
              irrelevant nonsense and that only serve to illustrate your lack of
              creativity (which everyone is familiar with anyway) but IT'S MUCH
              WORSE THAN THAT.

              When you make Reagen references, you fuel the Voodoo of the
              Transdimensiona l Luciferian Lizard conspiracy and help them advance
              their evil plot.

              It is your fault Joel.

              Repent.

              (BTW, I am exempt from this because I was given a special crystal by
              Genene Garofalo)
              [color=blue][color=green]
              > > By the way, Jim Nabors want his underwear back, you sick freak![/color]
              >
              > No, that was Bob Crane.[/color]

              Just because Bob was your inspiration does not mean you can blame him
              for your disgusting acts. Not Bob, Not Jody, Not even Helter Stupid.
              [color=blue][color=green][color=darkred]
              > > > > You'll have to forgive Joel, usenet is all he has after he lost his
              > > > > tongue in a tragic mishap, He's so UGLY, his proctologist stuck his
              > > > > finger in his mouth instead of his ass and mistook his tongue for a
              > > > > hemorrhoid.[/color][/color]
              >[color=green][color=darkred]
              > > > She's so ugly, she even has to get her vibrator drunk.[/color]
              > >
              > > Good Job Joel, you passed lesson 1: cutting and pasting! One day
              > > perhaps you can try thinking for yourself like the rest of us.[/color][/color]
              [color=blue]
              > Admit it, you read them all.[/color]

              Yeah, when your dad first wrote them twenty years ago. As I said, let
              your mom suffer in private. The topic here is how ugly _you_ are. And
              quite frankly, while I agree those quotes you posted are quite
              accurate, your mom is ugly, standing beside you she at least sort of
              looks human. You look like Telly Savalas would have if he had severe
              Elephantitis and colony of plague carrying rats made their home in his
              nose. Only fatter.
              [color=blue]
              > (I didn't, 'cause I cut and pasted. But
              > I didn't see my favorite one, which is 'Quirk is black and blue all
              > over from being poked with eleven foot poles.' And strangel enough, I
              > posted that other 11 foot pole joke before I even saw your silly
              > hemorrhoid post. But now it should be 11 foot piles.)[/color]

              What the hell are you blathering about? Do you actually think any of
              that is funny? Or even coherent? I'm glad you are proud of posting
              jokes so stupid that you don't even read them yourself. What a great
              contribution!
              [color=blue][color=green][color=darkred]
              > > > In your desperation to flame him, you didn't notice that wasn't
              > > > exactly what he said.[/color]
              > >
              > > Volker said: "if I were to compile mysql to, let's pick
              > > a platform at random, my new cellphone, I'd have to do a bit
              > > more than ./configure&&make install, right?"[/color]
              >
              > Ah, here is where you don't understand. What is lost in the world you
              > desire is the ability to have subsets of software and data distributed
              > about.[/color]

              First of all this is completely irrelevant. We where talking about the
              value of source code in recompiling your application for a new server
              with a new CPU or a new OS. Your whole talk of subsets is irrelevant
              and is not what Volker was talking about, despite your desperation for
              a comment to make.

              Second of all, what on earth do you mean by "the world I desire?"
              Nothing in my suggestions prevents modularity or distribution, if
              anything it actually encourages it.
              [color=blue]
              > Hate to tell you this, but it would be very difficult to store, say,
              > the Ring movies in human readable format.[/color]

              Hate to tell you this, but I never suggested you should. This is just
              yet another fallacious argument, I only claimed that it is
              //sometimes// usefull to have a human readable format, not always. I
              never said any of my suggestions applied in every case, only that they
              where _good_ suggestions. In order to dispute them, you have to
              explain why they are _bad_ suggestions, not just chose random examples
              where they may not apply. But alas, expecting logic from the likes of
              you and Volker seems to be unrealistic.

              Anyway, on the off chance that somebody is actually interested; In the
              case of something like video, while proprietary codecs may be usefull
              for delivery in some cases, I would recommend a reasonably open
              archive/master format though, like MPEG (VP3? Theora?). That would be
              the be the equivalent of the 'Human Readable' part.

              And I would still go with the self-contained, self-describing part of
              suggestion, not keep my archives/masters exclusively in some
              incomprehensibl e filesystem blob that is only readable by a third
              party deamon to which I have no source code. That is if this data has
              a long life span or must be shared externally.

              But here I am talking seriously again, when I know perfectly well that
              all the likes of you and Volker are here to do is talk crap, sorry,
              I'll try harder to stay on topic: You're so stupid your house burned
              down because you wanted to call 911, but you couldn't find your
              phone's '11' button.
              [color=blue]
              > And if you want to argue a movie studio
              > library is not valuable corporate data that one would want to
              > distribute electronically, well, there may be a future for you in
              > stonemasonry.[/color]

              That's right assclown, stick with making up arguments yourself, you
              only make a fool of yourself when you try to dispute real arguments
              made by others.

              It's cute of you to worry about my future though. Since you are so
              concerned, you can help me out: stop driving, stop eating industrial
              meat, and encourage your fellow citizens to learn enough about history
              and politics to make your country less dangerous to the rest of the
              world. Thanks. My future will be far more secure with your help.

              Comment

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